Bonfire at John's place on 16/06/07

An interesting position

I went to a lecture on leadership yesterday and I left feeling ill.

The first question the lecturer asked us was if the lecture was being recorded. We told her no.

She asked us what we were studying and we told her we were arts students. She implied that artists were notoriously bad at planning for the future. She spoke about money and the necessity of investing in shares and a managed fund so that if life problems arose, one could comfortably walk away.

"No problem is too big that you can't walk away from it," she said.

She said that many of us would get divorced if we got married, and that she could tell just by looking at us. She said that when that happened, it was a good idea to have money in the bank so we could just "walk away". She said that if we got divorced, to make sure it was worth our while financially; that it was one way of getting rich; and that signing a prenuptial agreement was a must.

She implied that because women were relational and "listen to people", they made better managers than men, but fortunately, some men were seeing the light and were learning how to "listen to people" and manage like women.

She spoke about how she had been divorced multiple times, about her numerous trips to financial advisers, the fact that her son had been diagnosed with a terminal illness but was now in long-term remission and was successful working as a labourer, the fact that every man she married had been an introvert. I could hear all the bitter undercurrents.

She did talk about leadership. However, she spoke about everything else for so much of it. I felt so distressed by having to sit through all of that. I felt as though she'd forcibly grabbed me by the shoulders and vomited on me, spewing her bitterness and angst. As a lecturer, she had everyone's attention and I felt she had really abused her power.

An assignment for a drama subject

One of my assignments in a drama subject is to create a manifesto.

I'm resisting the very idea. I don't mind defining what I stand for and what my values are. But I hate the idea of attempting to describe how I hope my product, as an artist, should be received, or what I think it looks like. That seems rather egotistical, and I resist definition.

A Manifesto about a Manifesto

I hereby declare that I do not create manifestos!

Actual performance studies ramblings

This started out as a blog about performance studies, but it has been a long time since I've written anything performance-related.

Today in a tutorial, the tutor asked why there was so much cultural wealth in a town like Glasgow and why Brisbane was such a "cultural desert". Both towns have similar populations. But while one is filled with a vibrant arts scene, the other has a quiet art scene in comparison.

Sometimes I think Australia is a nation that is afraid of putting up a mirror to its identity, to own up to the uglier parts of its history. And so we potter along with this notion of who we think we are, when the truth doesn't match the reality. Cultural self-reflection is written off as artistic wank.

I know I'm speaking in general terms, and I do intend to eventually justify what I write in this post.

The tutor said that apartheid exists in Australia. That gave me something to think about.

From the Sunshine Coast

I'm blogging from Peregian Beach, the Sunshine Coast. There's a nearby internet den I'm using.

I've been here since Sunday afternoon. A group of us celebrated the New Year out here.

It has been so good to get away for a little way. I loooove the beach. And the coast is so beautiful. The weather has been cool (for summer) and I'm really enjoying that.

This afternoon, Gloria, John, Matthew and Mike headed back. Ernie, Katrina and I stayed on. Tomorrow I'm catching up with a friend from Townsville. He's holidaying at the Sunshine Coast too, and it's pretty fortuitous that we're here at the same time. It'll be really good to see him.

Katrina is cooking a roast tonight. Hurrah!

Hope everyone had a Happy New Year. Thinking of you all.

Back from Projection

I have been asked to blog about Projection.

Projection came and went so quickly. Before I could blink, it was over.

It some ways, it felt crazier than Schoolies street chaplaincy. At Projection, I was with the same people, day in, day out. About 30 people were on last year's street chaplaincy team and you were hitting the streets with a different combination of four people each night. With Projection, I was with Ian, James, Greg, Michael, Paul, Richard and Sean during the "office hours" times. I picked up people's idiosyncracies within days and I am sure they spotted mine quickly too.

It's Wednesday as I write this. Five days after project has ended. I'm already missing the guys. I miss the endless chats about pop culture and movies and theatre and who knows what else. I miss bursting into musical numbers with them and doing the chicken dance around the office.

I miss them as individuals too. I miss Ian for his wit and cleverness; James for his easy-goingness and his endless capacity to listen; I miss Greg for his caring heart and empathy; I miss Richard for his stimulating conversation and depth; I miss Sean for his realness and honesty; Michael for his level-headedness and gentle humour. Paul was cool too, and so was the lovely Trish, as well as the legends Heather and Cam and the wonderful Christina. I miss four-year-old Welly and seven-month-old Anastasia.

I came to Projection focused on doing work for God's kingdom, and I did. You can find some of my writing at http://www.everystudent.com.au/ - I wrote up a few people's testimonies. The video guys made an amazing video and the web guys did an admirable job upgrading the website.

What I didn't expect was learning so much about myself. I learnt about how I react under pressure, how I react to different personality types, what I really need to work on about myself... I guess being around strangers in an unfamiliar environment really exposes one's flaws. The friends you unknowingly use as a crutch, suddenly aren't around to support you.

I am still processing the experience. Last year, I'd processed the schoolies experience within three days. Could articulate what I'd learnt, how it affected me. I'm not sure if I can cleanly articulate what I learnt on Projection, aside from how to fire a blackpowder cannon, entertain a baby, play the 12 bar blues, user Internet Explorer 7 and explain I.D. It will take some time.

I want to apologise to the guys for the times when I was a grouch; the times when I pulled back and isolated myself when I should have hung out; the times when I should have pulled back and taken some time out between Cat and God; the times when…

I will never be able to think about Projection without envisioning Ian and his camera and Sean and his vaudeville routines and Greg and his morning rounds of chocolate and Richard and his cartooning and Michael and his awe-inspiring card tricks…

Before I went to Projection, I was a little anxious about how God wanted me to serve in the future. Now I can see that God asks people to serve in the way He built them to serve. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which He prepared in advance for us to do. When we serve how we're born to serve, we're happiest.

I am still not clear how I am meant to serve, but I am ready to serve, and to follow.

When I've processed things more, I'll blog again about Projection. But I'll post pics soon.